


Proverbs

by gevaudan



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Proverbs, Wordcount: 100
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:30:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gevaudan/pseuds/gevaudan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having found a list of Russian proverbs online, I thought I would use them as prompts for some 100 word stories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Appetit prikhodit vo vremya yedy** _(The appetite comes with eating)_

"Didn't you eat half an hour ago?" Napoleon's incredulous question failed to distract his partner from the task at hand.

"I did," the blond acknowledged with a nod, "but I do not know where we are travelling to or how long for. Therefore, it pays to be prepared. May I offer you a fry?"

"Not hungry," Napoleon declined.

"The appetite comes with eating," Illya quoted the words his Babushka used when he claimed to be too full to eat his cabbage.

Twelve hours later, in a cold cell devoid of sustenance, Napoleon resolved to put Illya's Babushka's theory into practice.


	2. Cats and Mice

**Bez kota mysham razdol'ye (** _Without a cat, mice feel free)_

Napoleon had to take a second look at his partner, who sat happily, feet propped on his desk, tie missing and top shirt buttons unfastened.

"Did no one tell me about Casual... _Tuesday_?" he asked mildly.

Illya didn't answer, merely pointed to the calendar with a pen that he appeared to be using to complete the New York Times crossword.

20th April - Mrs Waverly's birthday, and for once they were not out on assignment. Napoleon loosened his own tie, garnering a grin from Kuryakin.

"Without a cat," Napoleon quoted the Russian saying, earning another smile, "the mice feel free."


	3. You Can't Lick Your Own Elbow

** Blizok lokotok, da ne ukusish  ** _ (Your elbow is close yet you can't bite it) _

"Well, can't you ..."

"No."

"Surely if you..."

"No."

"It's right there _tovarish_."

"And your elbow is close Napoleon, yet you cannot bite that."

"I'm not even sure what that means."

"It means, that it does not matter if it is five inches or five miles away, my shoulders don't  bend that way, and so I cannot unhook my arms. Now, do you have any other ideas or can I hang here in peace?"

"I don't see you coming up with anything."

"Very well. Do you not carry an explosive in your shoe?"

"Uhh... yes."

"There you go."

"Smart Russian."


	4. Chatterbox

** Nakhodka dlya shpiona  ** _ (A chatterbox is a treasure for a spy) _

Illya settled more comfortably in his chair and took a sip of his drink. He had come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to get a word in edgeways and had ceasedtrying.

Mr Waverly had sent him to discretely gather information from the improbably named Rosie Lee - girlfriend of the leader of THRUSH's London satrapy. She had been cautious and on guard with direct questioning, but if you allowed her to ramble, _bozhe moi_ , she could talk.

Illya mentally stored away the information she inadvertently revealed for later analysis.

A chatterbox was a treasure for a spy.


	5. Home is Where the Heart Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was really hard to keep to 100 words. But hopefully I managed to keep in everything important.

** V gostyakh khoroso, a doma luchshe ** _(Visiting is good, but home is better)_

He stared at Red Square, collar turned up against the cold. He ignored the knot of tension in his stomach; eyes taking in the familiar sights, ears revelling at the sound of background chatter he could understand. With a resolute sigh, he turned for the airport.

***

He didn't expect to be met by a friendly face. He shook Solo's hand in gratitude, pulling him into a quick, uncharacteristic hug.

" _Spasibo_."

"Gone native, _tovarisch_?"

Illya's ears revelled in the cacophony of noise he couldn't understand, and the knot in his stomach loosened.

"Visiting is good," he acknowledged, "But home is better."


	6. Birds in Flight

** Vidna ptitsa po polyotu ** _(The bird is known by its flight)_

"Gentleman, are we sure this is the actions of THRUSH?"

Mr Waverly, fiddled irritably with his briar pipe as he listed to the two agents before him.

"Well Sir, they didn't _specifically_ mention THRUSH, no."

"They mentioned the words heinous plot," Kuryakin put in, helpfully.

"They did, yes."

"And 'world domination' did feature heavily."

"That's true," Solo conceded.

"And they set up base in an improbable and highly impractical location."

"Yes, yes, Mr Kuryakin, all hallmarks of THRUSH I'm sure, but is there proof?"

"Well, no - but the bird is known by its flight."

"Very well. Investigate please."                                    

"Yessir."


	7. Trouble

** Beda nikogda ne prikhodit odna  ** _ (Trouble never comes alone) _

Despite his slight stature the blond agent felled the approaching guard with a single blow.

"Nap-oleon!" he sing-songed, the unsaid message to hurry clear in his tone.

Napoleon's dark head appeared from around the door of the safe, that he was rifling through.

"What's the problem? There's only one."

"Trouble never comes alone," Illya commented, voice dark.

"Quit borrowing problems Illya, we're fine," Napoleon resumed his search for the microfiche that they had been sent to recover, only to pause again at the rumble of many footsteps approaching.

Illya removed a pin from a smoke grenade, grimly.

"You were saying?"


	8. Wolves in the Wood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation note: Although the original proverb has the structure of a declarative sentence it is commonly understood and used in context as a rhetorical question.

** Volkov boyat'sa - v les ne khodit  ** _ (Just because one fears wolves, is one not to go into the woods? _

"I'm not sure you should go alone."

Illya cocked his head, awaiting clarification. Napoleon gestured at the abandoned warehouse.

"This, _tovarisch_ has trap written all over it."

"Actually, it has 'Smith's Tinned Goods' written all over it," Illya pointed out, "and intelligence say that its deserted."

 "Illya, there's a lot of places that someone could hide."

Kuryakin nodded.

"I know, but just because one fears wolves, is one not to go into the woods?"

"It's not wolves that bother me, it's birds."

Illya unholstered his weapon, trusting his partner's gut far above any intelligence.

"Then we go together, and carefully."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I spell-checked this one, Word suggested that I may have meant that 'Illya UPHOLSTERED his weapon'. Maybe he did... I'm sure the UNCLE special looks lovely in a fetching paisley print.


	9. Chickens

** Govoryat, shto kur doyat  ** _ (They say they milk chickens) _

"Word on the grapevine is that they've developed a weapon that can turn water to steam!"

Illya Kuryakin tried  to ignore the gossip-mongering taking place in the lunch queue behind him, but failed.

"I believe we already have one," he pointed out drily, "it's called a kettle."

The young scientist behind him was not to be deterred.

"No Mr Kuryakin, they're saying that it can make whole oceans disappear like," he snapped his fingers, "that."

Kuryakin sighed.

" _They_ say they milk chickens, but until I see evidence not hearsay, I will stick to cows."

Thankfully, they resumed queuing in silence.


	10. Snap

** Gde tonko - tam i rvyotsya  ** _ (it will snap where it's thinnest) _

"Opinion?" asked Napoleon, handing his long-trusted partner a file containing plans for an assault on THRUSH's Rome satrapy. Illya perched glasses on his nose, and gave the file his full consideration, for five long  minutes before looking up.

"What do you know about these Italian Section Two agents?" he asked.

"They're new," Solo conceded, "I don't know them well."

"I don't like that they are your main back-up, " Illya admitted, "this whole thing will snap where it's thinnest."

"You worry too much."

Illya rolled his eyes. Two days later, after a missed check-in, he boarded a flight to Italy.


	11. Fingernails

** Day s nogotok, proposit s lokotok  ** _ (Give him a fingernail, he will ask for the forearm) _

"Did you tell them anything?"

Illya's head lolled sickeningly as he struggled to fix his gaze on his partner.

"Wha-?" he asked blearily, trying to remember the events of the last twenty four hours and failing. All he could be sure of was that everything hurt.

"Did you tell them anything?" the urgency pierced the fog that had wrapped tendrils around Kuryakin's brain.

"No..." he answered slowly.

"Sure?"

"Nothing," his voice strengthened, "give him a fingernail and he'll ask for the forearm."

Gently, Solo cradled his partner's hands, assessing torn fingernails and shattered finger bones.

"Looks like he's already tried _."_


	12. Fishermen

** Rybak rybaka vidit izdaleka  ** _ (A fisherman can tell another fisherman from afar) _

Illya scanned the crowd momentarily before indicating a small, rat-faced man with a subtle tip of his chin.

"Him."

Solo, shook his head vehemently, indicating with an understated gesture a young man wearing dark glasses and a hat.

"Him. I'll wager dinner tonight on it."

Illya shook his head affectionately, but accepted the terms, vanishing in the crowd to whisper his part of the code phrase into his target's ear. He returned moments later with a smug grin and a microdot.

"How did you know?" asked Solo.

"A fisherman can tell another fisherman from afar." Illya replied, enigmatically, "Marello's tonight?"


	13. Drowning

** Utopayuschiy i za solominku khvatayetsya  ** _ (A drowning man grabs even a straw) _

Splash.

If Illya Kuryakin hadn't been busy trying to keep his head above water, he might have rolled his eyes.

It hadn't even been the fault of THRUSH. No, he'd been leaning over the hull of the sailboat, miserably seasick, when Napoleon had stumbled and knocked him overboard.

His head broke the surface, and he was almost mollified by the expression of contrition on his partner's face.

Almost.

His mood was not improved by Solo attempting to render aid by holding out a seat cushion.

"Grab hold!" he instructed, needlessly.

Grumbling, Illya complied.

"A drowning man grabs even a straw."


	14. Silence

** Slovo - serebro, molchaniye - zoloto  ** ( _Words are silver, silence is golden)_

Napoleon swung into their shared room long after midnight with a spring in his step and a song in his heart.  The night was mild, the food delectable, the wine plentiful and the company exquisite. Add to that the success of their mission, and his world was a perfect place to be.

A fact that he was more than happy to share with Illya.

Even if he was sleeping.

"I'm telling you," he continued to wax lyrical, ignoring baleful glares, "her voice was amazing, like the chiming of silver bells..."

"Words are silver," groused Illya, "But silence, Napoleon, is golden."


	15. Patience

** Terpeniye i trud vsyo peretrut  ** _ (Patience and work will fray through anything) _

"Are you even getting anywhere?"

"Not at the moment.  Still I have nothing else to be doing right now."

Solo sighed, and Illya could imagine the look of frustration on his face, although the rope tying them back to back made it impossible to see.

Doggedly, he returned his attention to the knot securing their bonds attempting to inveigle fibres to part with nimble fingers.  Time passed slowly until -

"Could you move a little to the left Napoleon?"

Solo obliged tossing Illya a bright grin, that was returned as the knot parted.

"Patience and work will fray through anything."


	16. Old Friends

** Staryy drug luchshe novykh dvukh  ** _ (An old friend is better than two new ones) _

To anyone else, he appeared urbanely polite. However, Napoleon Solo wasn't anyone, and he'd been partnered with his partner long enough to recognise telltale signs of discomfort.

They had been assigned to a diplomatic reception, their goal to "ensure things ran smoothly". However, Illya's company had been commandeered early on by a couple of Secret Service agents who appeared intent on, under the guise of politeness, questioning the Russian.

Enough was enough. Smoothly Solo cut in, handed each agent an unsolicited drink and steered his partner effortlessly away.

Illya smiled gratefully.

"An old friend is better than two new ones."


	17. Daydreams

** Tam khorosho, gde nas net  ** _ (Its good there, where we are not) _

The rain poured.

It soaked hair, shoes and clothing through to skin as they maintained their vigil, while dull afternoon gave way to dismal evening.

Still it rained.

Solo daydreamed of Hawaiian beaches - expanses of golden sand bordered by the verdant green of jungle and the clear azure blue of the sea.

Illya 's reverie featured Paris on a summer's evening - when the evening amber sun cast a golden glow over narrow city streets.

They sighed  synchronously, catching each other's eyes in shared understanding.

"It's good there, where we are not," Illya commented ruefully.

Solo could only agree.


	18. Burdens

** Svoya nosha ne tyanet  ** _ (One's own burden doesn't encumber) _

"Look, will you put me down."

He ignored the remark, as he had ignored the dozen similar previous ones.

"You can't carry me five miles back to the road with your knee in that shape. Leave me here and go call it in. Waverly'll send a chopper."

He continued his silence, partly because they both knew that in an area crawling with Solo's optimism was unfounded, and partly because he wasn't going to waste his breath arguing.

"I'm too heavy Illya."

"One's own burden doesn't encumber, Napoleon, and if you do not shut up I will have to tranquilise you."


	19. Practice Makes Perfect

** Povtoren'ye - mat' uchen'ya  ** _ (Repetition is the mother of learning) _

Mark strolled into the shooting range, and knew immediately what was happening. A throng of junior agents had congregated, trying to feign indifference hoping their interest would not be noticed .

Simultaneously, the pair in the far booths raised their weapons and fired with rapid, deadly efficiency. Each emptied their clip faster than seemed possible, critiquing the pattern of their fire before repeating the exercise.

Slate raised his voice, "Illya, Mr Waverly!"

Illya glanced over and nodded, making his weapon safe as Solo continued his practice.

"Repetition is the mother of learning," he commented to the spectators as he left.


	20. Everyone Makes Mistakes

** Kon' o chetyryokh nogakh, da i tot spotykaetsya ** _ (A horse has four legs, but still stumbles) _

He wouldn't have minded so much if not for the last thing he had said.

Trouble is, as the words 'It's alright I don't think they're following us,' had left his mouth they had been corralled, by said vehicle, into a pursuit that had ended with their car in a ditch, both of them up to their knees in mud with their arms above their head, and Napoleon feeling ridiculous.

"It's alright, Napoleon," Illya commented wryly, "A horse has four legs but still stumbles."

"I'm not sure how that's meant to make me feel better,"

"I'm not sure it was."


	21. The Demon Drink

** Pey, da delo razumey  ** _ (Drink, but be an expert in your business) _

They stumbled down the merrily down the hotel corridor. To the outside observer it wasn't immediately obvious who was holding who up. There was singing, in both English and Russian, and their faces were lit with bright smiles.

The smiles were not in evidence the morning after the Ambassador's Reception they had infiltrated. Illya lay on his bed, eyes closed, while Napoleon gloomily contemplated the view from the window.

"Did you get the microdot?" Illya asked, unmoving.

"Yes,  you swiped the keys?"

" _Da_."

"Then it's on to stage two..."

"Can we wait an hour?"

"I think that might be best."


End file.
